In this interview, Guernica Editions publishing intern Gabriella Campbell speaks with author Linda Trinh about her memoir Seeking Spirit: A Vietnamese (Non)Buddhist Memoir. Their discussion explores themes of faith, loss, and transformation.
Gabriella Campbell (GC): Your memoir explores the loss and transformation in spirituality. What role did leaving your home country play in reshaping your faith and sense of belief?
Linda Trinh (LT): Well, obviously, in the title itself, Seeking Spirit, there is this idea of a search for something that's woven throughout the book - through loss and through grief. And so, I think the search starts because when we migrated that sense of… floating, or not having a touchpoint or being in a place where does this quite fit? Does this not fit? Already having those questions from a cultural perspective, and then my own specific interest in spirituality, and then those questions around if there's this faith community that I can see at the local temple, but it's not quite the same as in the neighbourhood or going to high school.
So, it's always that idea of, well, what makes the most sense for me, and what am I trying to find? What am I trying to do? So, being away from the country of my birth was definitely a starting point to that.
GC: Were there parts of your story that were especially difficult to write? And if so, how did you approach them?
LT: Well, the interesting part of a memoir or any kind of life writing you're mining through you have parts of joy, but also parts that… are difficult to live through. And so, in the middle of the book, I talk about pregnancy loss, a difficult part in my career as well. So, it's writing about it and experiencing it.
Something that I also found was that when I was going through the exercise of revision, so whether that was just revision for myself to be able to query the book and send it out for submission. And then even to last summer, when I was doing last edits for the publication, going through the craft, do these sentences make sense? Is this the intent of what I want to say? But of course, it's the, what is the emotional impact? And so, trying to see it from a craft perspective, but at the same time, because it's my story, it's my experience, it's like, oh yeah, that happened, then that happened, then that happened.
Really, it's the idea of making sure that I took care of myself. That going through the passages that were going to be difficult, I really had to create the space that I was ready to go through it.
And then just the ideas of, okay, well, why am I writing this in the first place? You know? What is the intent behind sharing this with readers, and going back to that place? Figuring out the intent around my own exploration, my own healing.
So yes, I would say that they were definitely challenging, but I think the journey itself was good for me.
GC: And if I could even share my own experience through that.
LT: Of course!
GC: I have written my own poetry collection through my experience with spirituality and finding what works for you and what doesn't, and I can just imagine. I have gone through that exact same “you have to really take care of yourself to get through that,” because it's… challenging. It is very challenging.
LT: Yes. Yes. No, thank you for sharing that.
That is part of it, right? It's like you're… exposing yourself. You're showing your vulnerabilities on the page, and at the same time, the idea of, yes, I'm writing this for my own journey, for my own exploration. But it's the idea of sharing. And that's the difference between journaling for oneself and possibly putting it up for publication. And hopefully, it's that idea of connection, it's the idea of empathy, that powerful pieces of writing that I've read memoirs. I may not have gone through the exact same experience, but I recognize those feelings. I recognize that sense of belonging or that sense of loss, or what the author is trying to create. And then in creating stories myself, I hope that comes through as well, that people will see sparks of themselves like “that was really challenging,” or… “that was awkward.”
I see the joy and the happiness in that experience as well, so it's… it's a little bit of everything, hopefully.
GC: How do you see your story resonating with second-generation immigrants navigating these traditions as well?
LT: Well, I hope that they can see a bit of… that they're not alone in their own while we all have our own unique experiences, hopefully they do not feel alone in that sense that they may not know exactly how to navigate.
I always talk about the spaces in between. So, being Vietnamese Canadian. Are you Vietnamese enough? Are you too Vietnamese? Are you Canadian enough? Are you too Canadian? And so, what does that look like? How is that reflected for each individual person? I think it is that sense of empowerment, that that's okay, that there is no guidebook, there is no rulebook for people who've migrated, who've left their home country, the land of their ancestors, and to try to figure out a life somewhere else. And it's different for the different generations as well, so trying to see how no matter how many generations are in North America. It could be your grandparents, your parents, your siblings, yet that interaction is different for everyone. So, how much of the language do you still retain? What traditions do you have at home? What food do you cook? All of that comes into play. And so, I think I would like to leave it with a sense of empowerment, that you know, it's up to you to discover what that means for you, and it's never too late to discover that. And to have that sense of change, of curiosity.
GC: My partner is Trinidadian Chinese, and we've had those discussions where it's like, “Am I too Canadian? Am I not, you know… taking from my culture and using that?” I can see that firsthand through my partner.
LT: Yeah, yeah, no, thanks for sharing that. Those questions that come up, that sense of, well, is this enough? One of the things I also talk about in the book is, like, that richness to draw on, to be okay with drawing on from other traditions as well, you know? Respectful in a curious way. So, looking at the different mythologies from around the world that are outside of Vietnamese tradition, that are outside of Buddhist tradition, and being okay with being influenced by that, or having a connection to that, I think that's great as well, and that builds empathy and connection that we are humans, and our ancestors from generations ago from all parts of the world have similar kind of… questions and… also intentions and, beliefs, and… desires for what they want, for purpose in life.
GC: What do you hope readers, especially those who may feel spiritually disconnected, will take away from Seeking Spirit?
LT: I would like… a sense of wonder.
There is this notion, I still believe. That spirituality is not as good as the scientific method, or things that are observable. And so, it's that idea of our ancestors from generations ago have all had these questions. So, that's… it’s validity. The idea that you can't explain something, and you can't necessarily prove something, and that's okay. I don't know if that necessarily needs to be a standard for spirituality. It's the, has it been experienced? Do you feel it in your bones? Do you have that tingling sense? So, it's that idea of, again, empowerment and wonder, and finding what that means for you. So, is it different paths of institutional religion, whether it's something that you were born into, or you seek later on in life? Or is it signs of the universe, and reading up on different traditions and what that actually means for you. Again, it goes back to what makes sense for your own life and your own lived experience, and I think spirituality just helps ground to the present moment, to hopefully finding connection to my family, my community, and then giving me the sense that this is the joy of waking up and going through the day, and when things are not going well in life, what strength can I tap into?
Yeah, so reading up about different traditions, experiencing them. Travel, I mean, obviously that's so big in the book, to sacred spaces, to different ruins, and it's… having that sense of energy, that feeling. And so, incorporating those extraordinary moments into you know, I just live an ordinary life, so…
What does spirituality mean in the ordinary moments? To you.
GC: I like that, I like that end part there. That was good.
Yeah, it's very important, I think, to have at least something to go through your life looking forward to, to connect to, because without that, life can get pretty… depressing, and pretty sad.
LT: Yeah. Yeah.
GC: So, you really need something to connect to. To connect with other people and have that community, like you said.
LT: Exactly. Yeah, and finding that for yourself, like, sometimes spirituality will be aligned to institutional religions. Sometimes it will not be, and that's okay, too. And like you said, there's so many factors in life and so many things that we can't change, or we feel like our actions won't ripple out so much, so having those touchpoints to be able to recharge and then reconnect, I think, are very important.
GC: Okay, this one is a little broader. Do you feel there is enough space in Canadian literature for stories of complex, non-traditional spiritual journeys?
LT: That's a good question. Um, I think the landscape is… changing… and there is space being made, hopefully.
I am so honoured to be published with Guernica. And knowing that the books that they publish, really taking chances on complex topics and spirituality. My publishing journey with this manuscript was long as well, and I had submitted it to other publishers. The feedback I got was always that the writing was really well done, but they weren't necessarily interested in the topic. So, it's that idea of… there is room for a diversity of experience, and that can mean different social issues and different cultural identities, and it can also mean different spiritual identities. Because, again, I would hope that great writing is in some ways a reflection of our complex society as well. And so… let's have these conversations. Let's talk about the nuances. Let's talk about the complications. Let's have a language to have these kinds of discussions. And in a space where religion is tied so much to different social aspects, I think we have to think about… the different complexities in it. I have hope.
GC: And to me, that is just crazy that there were so many places that thought it wasn't what they wanted.
LT: Yeah, I think the story could be… quote-unquote, the classic immigrant story, right? Which I do think that is something that is looked through in the market. And cultural touchpoints, parent-child relationships, but that idea of spirituality, it was like, oh… Not sure about that aspect of things.
And again, you know, one of your questions beforehand, it’s about people who are searching for spirituality, it's still that idea of, are you just talking about really liking crystals? Or things that… are not reasonable, are not logical. It's like, well, when did that ever become the source of validation? When did that become the standard which we had to meet? It's like… does it make sense to you? Does it help you live your life in a meaningful way? I think those are more the questions.
And, yeah, this is what I write about. So, I can't really write a story that doesn't include spirituality. But Guernica is amazing.
GC: Alright. Do you still have questions that you feel have not been answered since your journey?
LT: Through the book, you will just see that I have no answer. So, anybody who is picking up the book to see what's going on, what parts of enlightenment there are. I think it's more of just a messy kind of stream of consciousness. Why does this happen? What does this mean? What is this, you know, what is this relevance? And so, it's mostly just me asking a bunch of questions.
The book itself talks about my childhood, but it's also a snapshot in time, right? That's the interesting part of a memoir as well.
I think the book ends when my daughter is… she's 13 now, right? So that was who I was, and what my spiritual journey looked like at that moment in my life. And so, my journey has continued since then, with different life experiences, and the subtitle itself, a Vietnamese Non-Buddhist memoir, I have more curiosity, and I've definitely have done more of a deep dive into Buddhism since then, so… yeah, still a lot of questions.
Life… teaches me things where I thought I learned them, but I didn't learn them closely enough. The biggest thing so far that I've learned since writing the book that's still in my spiritual journey is that idea of the present moment, and life being impermanent and how that ties into Buddhism. Just how we are only here on Earth for moments of time, and what do we do with our time, and looking at impermanence. There are some ways of looking at it where things just change, and I have sometimes the notion, like, I don't want things to change, there's some negativity around that. But also, kind of seeing the benefits of that, knowing things could change at any moment. How does that help me live in the present moment, or that urgency around creativity, or spiritual urgency, or things that I want to do with my life? So, it's both. So that'll be in future writing, I hope.
GC: Can't wait to see it.
And then we have one more question.
For those who are planning on reading the memoir, what would you say in your own words is the most important takeaway from the book?
LT: Ooh… The most important takeaway, I would say, is… life is a journey and there'll be challenges, but there will also be moments of joy.
So, it's to be experienced and reflected on, and… hopefully shared with other people.
GC: Beautiful. Thank you so much.